The Conundrum of Sexual Freedom (Part One)


Sex and Freedom are two words not usually in natural equilibrium with each other. We often fight for or withdraw from the freedom of our sexuality. We never just pursue it as a balanced and harmonious course of our life, without the often accompanying thoughts of guilt, anxiousness, doubt and threat either before or after any physical acts.

We claim we would love sexual freedom or allow another’s, but often the statement is hollow instigating instead a deep fear or intense confusion.

Why do we do this? Why are we so easily manipulated into fear when it comes to sex and sexuality?

I encourage you to look directly at the reasons that instigate such intense feelings of unworthiness and defense. I encourage you to reclaim the right to Your full sexuality!

Rather than creating and encouraging happiness and pleasure through sexual balance and harmony they have helped induce intense paranoia and a deep mistrust of ourselves and our bodies.
Today’s attitude to sex and the band aid way that we try to use to deal with it for the sake of ourselves and our children is a result of deep sexual repression and suppression.
We may talk about things sometimes but when push comes to shove, we do not know how to look softly and life adoringly into our children’s eyes or our lovers, let alone a complete stranger!
And this has nothing to do with any sex act but is fully sexual and pleasurable in its nature.

Young children are full of the mischievous delight of sexual wonder, they play with theirs and friends genitals very happily…they are sometimes obsessive (who wouldn’t be when something is new and feels THAT good!) but just as easily leave them alone when distracted by something else. They use the pleasure and feeling of their genitals for comfort and also leave them alone when distracted. A penis or vagina can hold just as much fascination as a spider or a grasshopper! Such is the natural play of early childhood. Such is the easy natural wonder and curiosity of being a young human.
So what has happened to the adults then? Why are so many, too many, woman unhappy and confused about the lack of or diminished feeling of sexual vitality? Where has the natural wonder and curiosity of sex gone?
We are told how to behave, how to act, how to think, how to do our sexual deeds (or misdeeds as they often become). We are told to be nice, decent, acceptable and compatible. We are boringly repetitive in our answers, our questions, our expectations and our instigations into life. We don’t do anything to shake ourselves up, mess ourselves around, stand up for ourselves, become soft and vulnerable, become healthily curious and humourous. We have become hard, protective, neurosed, control freaks, depressed and ironic.
And we are confused. We are all having either a quiet and wickedly suppressed tantrum or an externally adolescent and boisterous (no one is EVER going to tell me what to do!) one. Not only that, we are covered (from head to genitals to toes) in metaphoric band aids from the social self help services that don’t address the cause, just the outcome.

Our deeply suppressed but gorgeously sublime enjoyable life energy is screaming out for attention to wake up. This positive, sublime, way of living and feeling is not fake, it is not a myth, it is just that we have been told that this way of feeling in our body, is not possible, unless we do something to make it that way.
The doing something to make it that way, is a statement that always suggests we have or are a problem and we need to fix it. It seems natural because we have been given this mantra/statement since we were born. We were given the nipple to stop crying, the cuddle to stop screaming, the lolly to stop whining, the look to stop hassling. We had to do something and receive something to make something happen, to make ourselves feel accepted. This was fine as a baby and small emotionally dependent child but, somewhere along the way when the emotionally mature adult did not come along to grow you out of this, the same expectation extended itself out into every area of your life and now you are full with the expectations of doing stuff to get what you want, to make yourself feel good. You think this is what it is to be adult but you need to be told with kindness and warmth and sincerity that you never grew out of the emotional dependant child stage and that no one could grow you out of this because they were still living from the emotional dependent stage, as well. No one can be blamed for this stunted way of thinking and feeling. It has been a vicious religo, societal, cultural cycle and has been responsible for the underlying suppression and fearful behaviour of all humanity.
Your intuitive ability to rely on and feel joy without internal or external stimuli has now gone. The suppression is complete, the training done. From a social systems point of view we have become good, well stifled appropriately behaving, semi sexual, robots (just enough to procreate). The robots can still conform to any culture, but it is still a robot, living within the confines of what that culture is subtly and not so subtly telling them to do.

To be continued….

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