Through these women’s sexuality workshops I want to explain and show how it is possible to reconsider and re arrange one’s perception of life through relationship, not relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend, mother or father, but relationship with the Life that you are.
I can’t use techniques or recommend therapies because that would be contradicting a deep intuitive knowing that I Iive with, which is the realisation that we are already full, free and sexually complete. I have come to realise this is always available, I just decided somewhere in my life to take on the belief that it was not.
Without being aware of this, I accumulated strong opinions and feelings around sex and sexuality. Although not a religious person I tended to be religiously moralistic and judgmental in nature, for example, about who I should sex with, how I should sex, how this should take place and how I was to approach the sex act, usually on the basis of some Christian tenets that I had taken on while still young. They did not affirm my already inherent pleasurable feelings of sexuality. My opinions and judgments were a blanket or cover that shut out the wonder of my full sexualness because they often created guilt and shame in me.
Sexuality, a path fraught with conundrum and fascination, was an appropriate subject and avenue to observe whether I had a sound relationship with my Life force or energy, as opposed to a fragmented relationship with external authorities that I felt I had to listen to, please or manipulate.
Eventually, when I realised I was not living my inherent Life qualities, I began to confront my habitual need to use sex merely to control another or to fulfill myself. I wanted to confront this loss of power, which revealed itself to me through an obvious self consciousness, embarrassment, and behaviour orientated towards getting the approval of others. Amongst other things, that led to unhealthy acts of sex and demeaning feelings about my sexuality and gender.
I began to understand over time that I had been sold the greatest, most convincing lie of my life: that I needed to do something or have someone to make myself feel happy, contented and loved. I understood that the constant stream of my sexual pleasurable life had been ignored and become hidden to me, for the sake of believing a historically convincing lie and taking on an illusion (2 billion plus people just couldn’t be wrong!).
To answer this one must firstly understand the misconception and misuse of Tantra in the modern world of sexuality.
Tantra is most commonly associated with tantric sex or sexuality. This is an incomplete rendering of the Great Tradition of Tantra.
Tantra Yoga is a Yoga primarily involved in the process of releasing Life-Force (within the psycho/physical body more commonly called sexual energy) from the knot or cramp of self-consciousness. It is not, in the first place, simply or merely a yoga to enhance or stimulate sexual energy for the sake of bodily sex with another.
Yes, these retreats are Tantric in the Great and Ultimate sense in that my purpose with you is primarily the Work of assisting you to release sexual energy from the self-conscious knot.
It is not about being stimulated by another or learning how to stimulate another. Not in the first place anyway. It is about awakening to your own bodily pleasurable self whether or not you have a current sexual partner.
I Work within the Great Tradition of Tantra. Therefore I Work with your complete psycho/physical form; the emotional sexual, mental sexual, physical sexual and altogether Spiritual Sexual.
Motiveless sexuality is Your Real sexual freedom.
Just as motiveless celibacy is your Real sexual freedom.
Finally. Yes, these retreats, and the Tantric element within them, will help and enhance and stimulate your bodily sexual giving and receiving within the sex play communion with another.
I had no clues about looking at how to sustain my sexuality/life energy. That remained the case, even as i got older, it’s just that i formed a management system that enabled me to look like i knew something about sex or sexuality. On this basis I held onto a bit of confidence and could show this to some degree in the world.
But I have always felt very sexual, I have had (in comparison to what I was shown and read externally) unusually sexual and lustful feelings around things that I thought or “knew” that I shouldn’t. I had them but did not want to portray them, wouldn’t that mean that i was “slutty” “trashy” ignorant. If I was intelligent and on to it for instance wouldn’t my rational and moral intelligence disperse these more lustful and animal feelings of sexual urges? I did not know, and I could not talk to anyone that would give me an honest and straight answer.
I guess secretly I wanted to know that others felt the same but people were too busy trying to maintain their own management system to get straight and honest about their sex or sexuality. To be animal or to be primal was never something that anyone ever promoted as humanly acceptable. If those words came up, they were associated with dirty, feral, unkept, unrefined, unhealthy, mentally unstable, shocking and dangerous. They were words to be found in the underground, but by that time you also had to deal with alot of hidden agendas and suppressed energy. Therefore they were words I kept clear of and as a result avoided any act or feeling (at least openly) that could be associated with these words.
The outcome of sexuality is the vital, radiant and un-selfconscious energy of life. Inherant pleasure is the feeling of sexuality.
Therefore it should be shown and given in every second of every moment of your life. Why? Because it is your very nature and therefore natural to you.
The enlightened interpretation of sexuality is an interpretation that understands that you are not a problem. In this feeling of no problem you will uphold a full and constantly renewed sense of vital well being. This means that your interactions will be open, full and life giving (un-selfconscious) not closed, weary or life diminishing.(self conscious).
This is the practice of radical self understanding. This means you will have to have a love and passion for something greater than your perceived limitations, ideas and values of who you currently think you are and what is important to you. Somtimes you need help to move the obstacles that prevent you from seeing this. That is what i am here for.
What limitations do you hold around sexuality and sex that you feel prevents an open feeling of pleasure and creativity?
The fact of the matter is I became depressed, and felt inert most of my life because I did not cultivate my deep and primal source, my well of life, i had made a dear and capable friend an enemy for the sake of social acceptance and civility. This is something we have all done to one degree or another.
Primal sexuality allows for straight living, confidence and charisma. It instigates a certainty in oneself and cannot be bothered with passive civilities that hold tight to timidity, self righteousness and insipid niceties, that never get to the heart of any matter. Primal qualities are qualities that make a full and well rounded Human being. Primal Nature allows for refined interaction with the world around You. What i mean by refined is that you become a Human Being who understands about the interalatedeness of all things. You understand because you have reintegrated yourself back into the process of Life again and within the process of life you are governed by your natural relatedness to all things.
Primal nature takes its course through the governance of life therefore it inhabits its surrounding in a way that allows for inclusion of diversity. In fact it accepts that diversity is necessary for growth and renewal, for the continuation of more life.
children should be encouraged to keep their primal nature, their sexual curiosity, their life curiosity. This can only be done when they are held securely within the folds of those who consider these things necessary for a healthy harmonious human being. It can only be done when those ones are themselves confidently upholding their primal sexual life force. Who understand the dynamics (through their own empowered self responsibility) of what it takes to raise a child that stays close to its vital, sexual force.